Dr Samit informed us how many embryos we had and again we were so pleased the fertilisation had been successful. We left the next stages to the clinic.
Our only hope was that now our surrogate mother would fall pregnant. We knew we had left her in very experienced and capable hands. Dr Samit and the medical team would make sure she was in the best health at all times and that she was looked after physically and emotionally for the journey ahead.
We received an email 10 days later confirming that our surrogate mother was pregnant! I am not sure we could totally believe it! We were so pleased for us but also our surrogate mother. We discovered our surroagate’s name is Lalitha; which is a very pretty name. Lalitha and our journey has begun together!
We have to admit that we know very little about Lalitha. We do know that she has a family of her own; that she probably lives in Hyderabad, or not too far away; otherwise we know little of her life and her own story. There are so many crucial people involved every step of the way. Some play big roles, others relatively small, but sometimes no less important. Lalitha has undoubtedly made the biggest sacrifice of all of us. She’s the one who has chosen to step up; move away from her dearest family, her friends, and from the life she leads. We don’t know how big a sacrifice that is for her – as only a mother could understand, I’m sure it’s significant. I don’t know her motives, nor how she must be feeling – I fully appreciate how tough and what hard work pregnancy is. We are very grateful for the personal sacrifice she is making every day. I hope, one day, she learns that what she and other surrogate mothers do to help those of us who have struggled for one of life’s great treasures – having a child – is truly humbling. When we get to the end, which I obviously hope will be successful, I would love to meet her and thank her from the bottom of my heart. I also know it may not be appropriate, or even wanted, which is fine. I can’t force my wishes on anyone, but I hope I can somehow pass on my thanks and best wishes to her.
We were sent a scan and all the details of the embryo at this (very early) stage. We couldn’t believe it was actually real. Anjani explained we would receive a report which consist of ultra sound photos, ultra sound videos and the baby’s growth measurements, every week for the first 12 weeks of the pregnancy. Then after this we would receive a report every fortnight. We would be able to see our baby growing every step of the way in Lalitha. We were so pleased that this was going to be the case so we could bond with the baby being in Lalitha’s womb.
Each week we waited patiently for the scan and each week we couldn’t believe that this little person was growing. We feel very blessed, but remained incredibly nervous.
Sunday, 9 September 2012
February
We moved house as our landlord kicked us out for his own personal gain. This was an incredibly stressful time in itself.
A week after moving in to our new flat a huge box arrived (with cooler packs – amazing), just as Dr Samit & Anjani had explained, with the IVF drugs to encourage my ovaries to produce eggs. I started self-injecting. This was fine, but I have a new found respect for diabetics who have to self inject every day for their entire lives to stay alive.
I had a few queries about the medication and hence emailed Dr Samit and immediately he replied explaining and answering my worries and queries. He explained everything fully and made everything clear. I was relieved to be able to contact him so easily and for him to direct me so openly.
I self injected for 2 weeks. During this time we organised our flights to Hyderabad to then meet KIC and have my eggs harvested. Timing was critical as I had to make sure KIC could see me the day after my last injection at home.
We also arranged for Dominic’s mum to come out to us and look after Orlando whilst we were away in India. She was absolutely amazing, dropped everything, and found a flight to Hong Kong without a moment of hesitation.
I was SO stressed out emotionally and physically that I lost the ability to cook and served up 2 evening meals that were uncooked and raw – to my embarrassment. I love to cook and it was distressing to see what was happening to me. My mother in law and Dominic were incredibly worried about me.
Never the less we did our hand over to Dominic’s Mum and we got on the flight heading to Hyderabad. It was very nerve wracking, terrifying and exciting all at the same time. We took a deep breath; we were really doing it….
We arrived at Hyderabad airport and as Anjani has explained there would be a hotel car waiting for us. The hotel had our room booking and again, as Anjani had explained there was a local mobile phone waiting for us too. This was a brilliant idea as it had all the KIC staff’s telephone numbers in it and was an immediate source of comfort.
KIC had everything in hand. Efficiency at its very best; we were more than impressed.
We had arrived late, so Anjani said he would have the KIC car pick us up the following morning to meet himself, Dr Samit and Dr Kiran. The car arrived bang on time to pick us up; we couldn’t have asked for more and again were blown away by this amazing efficiency.
We got to the clinic and it was great to finally see it. We were shown to a special waiting room and Anjnai introduced himself. He was charming and it was a pleasure to meet him. He told us Dr Samit would meet us separately in a consulting room. We then met Dr Samit and he happily answered all our questions about the egg harvest , the surrogacy journey and explained to us in more detail about how we would move forward. It was a pleasure to meet him and he immediately put our minds to rest. He answered all of our questions no matter how big or small there were. It was lovely to finally put faces to the names we had been talking to.
I also met Dr Kiran and all the other doctors and nurses who were more than helpful. They again helped put my nerves to one side.
Fortunately we did not have to go to the clinic every day so we had much time to ourselves to explore Hyderabad. It is a very interesting city with fascinating sites to visit. We used tuk tuks for our ‘out-and-about’ adventures to really get ourselves orientated with the city. We explored everywhere, from the old city walls to the high tech ‘silcon valley’ area. The city is an amazing mix of old and new which is wonderful to see. You could spend every day visiting stunning palaces, tombs, forts and of course the wonderful markets. I got quite carried away on one of the most colourful streets I think I have ever seen; they sold bangles – every single shop! It was divine!
We enjoy Indian cuisine so were very keen to explore all the restaurants we could. One evening Anjani took us to a restaurant overlooking the Lake, The Water Front’. This was very kind of him to give us his precious time, but it was also a chance for him to get to know and understand us as a family in a relaxed environment away from the clinic which was lovely.
The food in every restaurant we went to was delicious and I for one would never get bored of the biriani, dal and roti! It makes my mouth water just thinking about all the flavours and blending of spices! I am a keen cook. Perhaps when we are back I should enroll on a cooking course to learn the true art of curry making?
One thing about returning to India as an adult, I was last there 25 years ago, was that I kept on coming across things that I remembered as a child; in particular Limca and roti! It was a treat to find them again.
Finally came the day of my egg harvest after much careful monitoring. Dr Kiran left nothing to chance. 2 days prior to this, I had the final injection which had to be administered late one evening. One of the lovely nurses came to our hotel room to administer the final injection as it was in my back and I couldn’t reach the area plus Dominic was a little nervous to do it himself! We could hardly believe the KIC staff were so kind as to come to our hotel and help us in this way.
The following morning I walked into the operating room. Before I knew it I was knocked out and awake again with Dominic at my side. It had been quick and simple; I knew I was in safe hands. Then it was Dominic’s turn to hand in his contribution!
The medical team looked after me very well and wouldn’t let me leave until they were certain I wasn’t queasy and could walk and talk properly again. There was no pressure for us to leave the recovering room in the clinic; only when I was ready and they were happy with me did they let that happen. At all times the staff were checking on me.
We said our thank yous and good byes, hoping we would see the KIC team very soon.
Before we left Hyderabad Dr Samit called to tell us the number of eggs they had harvested and it was a good harvest, which was a huge relief. The following morning, with me feeling rather sore, bruised and swollen from the harvesting, we jumped on a flight home and left the KIC team to look after the next steps.
A week after moving in to our new flat a huge box arrived (with cooler packs – amazing), just as Dr Samit & Anjani had explained, with the IVF drugs to encourage my ovaries to produce eggs. I started self-injecting. This was fine, but I have a new found respect for diabetics who have to self inject every day for their entire lives to stay alive.
I had a few queries about the medication and hence emailed Dr Samit and immediately he replied explaining and answering my worries and queries. He explained everything fully and made everything clear. I was relieved to be able to contact him so easily and for him to direct me so openly.
I self injected for 2 weeks. During this time we organised our flights to Hyderabad to then meet KIC and have my eggs harvested. Timing was critical as I had to make sure KIC could see me the day after my last injection at home.
We also arranged for Dominic’s mum to come out to us and look after Orlando whilst we were away in India. She was absolutely amazing, dropped everything, and found a flight to Hong Kong without a moment of hesitation.
I was SO stressed out emotionally and physically that I lost the ability to cook and served up 2 evening meals that were uncooked and raw – to my embarrassment. I love to cook and it was distressing to see what was happening to me. My mother in law and Dominic were incredibly worried about me.
Never the less we did our hand over to Dominic’s Mum and we got on the flight heading to Hyderabad. It was very nerve wracking, terrifying and exciting all at the same time. We took a deep breath; we were really doing it….
We arrived at Hyderabad airport and as Anjani has explained there would be a hotel car waiting for us. The hotel had our room booking and again, as Anjani had explained there was a local mobile phone waiting for us too. This was a brilliant idea as it had all the KIC staff’s telephone numbers in it and was an immediate source of comfort.
KIC had everything in hand. Efficiency at its very best; we were more than impressed.
We had arrived late, so Anjani said he would have the KIC car pick us up the following morning to meet himself, Dr Samit and Dr Kiran. The car arrived bang on time to pick us up; we couldn’t have asked for more and again were blown away by this amazing efficiency.
We got to the clinic and it was great to finally see it. We were shown to a special waiting room and Anjnai introduced himself. He was charming and it was a pleasure to meet him. He told us Dr Samit would meet us separately in a consulting room. We then met Dr Samit and he happily answered all our questions about the egg harvest , the surrogacy journey and explained to us in more detail about how we would move forward. It was a pleasure to meet him and he immediately put our minds to rest. He answered all of our questions no matter how big or small there were. It was lovely to finally put faces to the names we had been talking to.
I also met Dr Kiran and all the other doctors and nurses who were more than helpful. They again helped put my nerves to one side.
Fortunately we did not have to go to the clinic every day so we had much time to ourselves to explore Hyderabad. It is a very interesting city with fascinating sites to visit. We used tuk tuks for our ‘out-and-about’ adventures to really get ourselves orientated with the city. We explored everywhere, from the old city walls to the high tech ‘silcon valley’ area. The city is an amazing mix of old and new which is wonderful to see. You could spend every day visiting stunning palaces, tombs, forts and of course the wonderful markets. I got quite carried away on one of the most colourful streets I think I have ever seen; they sold bangles – every single shop! It was divine!
We enjoy Indian cuisine so were very keen to explore all the restaurants we could. One evening Anjani took us to a restaurant overlooking the Lake, The Water Front’. This was very kind of him to give us his precious time, but it was also a chance for him to get to know and understand us as a family in a relaxed environment away from the clinic which was lovely.
The food in every restaurant we went to was delicious and I for one would never get bored of the biriani, dal and roti! It makes my mouth water just thinking about all the flavours and blending of spices! I am a keen cook. Perhaps when we are back I should enroll on a cooking course to learn the true art of curry making?
One thing about returning to India as an adult, I was last there 25 years ago, was that I kept on coming across things that I remembered as a child; in particular Limca and roti! It was a treat to find them again.
Finally came the day of my egg harvest after much careful monitoring. Dr Kiran left nothing to chance. 2 days prior to this, I had the final injection which had to be administered late one evening. One of the lovely nurses came to our hotel room to administer the final injection as it was in my back and I couldn’t reach the area plus Dominic was a little nervous to do it himself! We could hardly believe the KIC staff were so kind as to come to our hotel and help us in this way.
The following morning I walked into the operating room. Before I knew it I was knocked out and awake again with Dominic at my side. It had been quick and simple; I knew I was in safe hands. Then it was Dominic’s turn to hand in his contribution!
The medical team looked after me very well and wouldn’t let me leave until they were certain I wasn’t queasy and could walk and talk properly again. There was no pressure for us to leave the recovering room in the clinic; only when I was ready and they were happy with me did they let that happen. At all times the staff were checking on me.
We said our thank yous and good byes, hoping we would see the KIC team very soon.
Before we left Hyderabad Dr Samit called to tell us the number of eggs they had harvested and it was a good harvest, which was a huge relief. The following morning, with me feeling rather sore, bruised and swollen from the harvesting, we jumped on a flight home and left the KIC team to look after the next steps.
January
20th January 2012:
Possibly the worst day of our lives. My fears were confirmed when my Dr told me my uterus was sealed and I could no longer carry a baby. I have ‘Asherman’s Syndrome’ which is caused by multiple D&CS.
Despair & distraught were just 2 of the emotions I felt; I was barren. I could no longer give my husband or myself the children that we so wanted. I have never cried so much; which is exhausting in itself emotionally and physically.
The question now was what to do?
Surrogacy –we had prepared ourselves for the worst outcome and there was no doubt in our minds that this was the route for us to look into. This meant that when it was confirmed we could no longer have the family we so dreamed of we were proactive and ready to look at this alterative solution.
We were fully and whole heartedly supported along this entire process by our family. Without whom we would not have had the strength to be so confident in our decision and focused about the quest ahead of us.
In our minds surrogacy is selfless. Pregnancy is a huge strain on the body and to allow another person to use your womb for 9 months is an incredibly giving and selfless act; and when involving a stranger it is even more gallant.
My doctor was very positive about it and helped give us some ideas for starters. We then also literally ‘hit’ Google! Modern technology and the internet are just amazing at a time like this when you are looking for answers and help.
After a week of research Dominic had focused in on India. India was a place both D & I could relate to; I lived there as a child & D has worked there. We like the country, the people and the fascinating culture. It is an incredible place. India did not seem an alien country to go to and surrogacy is medically and legally acceptable too.
A particular clinic kept on being mentioned and recommended on Google. We needed to get in touch! We didn’t waste a minute and we got in touch with ‘Kiran Infertility Clinic’, Hyderabad (KIC).
A gentleman by the name of Anjani immediately replied to our email enquiry as did the doctor, Dr Samit. This was extremely impressive. We were blown away and wanted to meet them!
The communications and explanations of how things would work were explained and it was so thorough that we wanted to jump on a plane ASAP!
Possibly the worst day of our lives. My fears were confirmed when my Dr told me my uterus was sealed and I could no longer carry a baby. I have ‘Asherman’s Syndrome’ which is caused by multiple D&CS.
Despair & distraught were just 2 of the emotions I felt; I was barren. I could no longer give my husband or myself the children that we so wanted. I have never cried so much; which is exhausting in itself emotionally and physically.
The question now was what to do?
Surrogacy –we had prepared ourselves for the worst outcome and there was no doubt in our minds that this was the route for us to look into. This meant that when it was confirmed we could no longer have the family we so dreamed of we were proactive and ready to look at this alterative solution.
We were fully and whole heartedly supported along this entire process by our family. Without whom we would not have had the strength to be so confident in our decision and focused about the quest ahead of us.
In our minds surrogacy is selfless. Pregnancy is a huge strain on the body and to allow another person to use your womb for 9 months is an incredibly giving and selfless act; and when involving a stranger it is even more gallant.
My doctor was very positive about it and helped give us some ideas for starters. We then also literally ‘hit’ Google! Modern technology and the internet are just amazing at a time like this when you are looking for answers and help.
After a week of research Dominic had focused in on India. India was a place both D & I could relate to; I lived there as a child & D has worked there. We like the country, the people and the fascinating culture. It is an incredible place. India did not seem an alien country to go to and surrogacy is medically and legally acceptable too.
A particular clinic kept on being mentioned and recommended on Google. We needed to get in touch! We didn’t waste a minute and we got in touch with ‘Kiran Infertility Clinic’, Hyderabad (KIC).
A gentleman by the name of Anjani immediately replied to our email enquiry as did the doctor, Dr Samit. This was extremely impressive. We were blown away and wanted to meet them!
The communications and explanations of how things would work were explained and it was so thorough that we wanted to jump on a plane ASAP!
Before I begin...
Before I begin my story there are a few things you need to know about me and my family. My name is Octavia and I am married to Dominic; the most wonderful and caring husband you could ever imagine. He is my rock, my best friend, my source of comfort and love. He works incredibly hard to provide for his family and to that effect has to travel with work overseas and hence spends a huge amount of time away from home. Holidays are often an interesting concept as I am not sure he has been able to take a holiday without spending a few days working! Never the less I love him no matter what!
We have one son, Orlando, who we adore and brings us more joy than you could ever even begin to imagine! He is 3 ½ and is as gorgeous in his manner as he is in his personality. From the day he was born he brought pure happiness and completed our family.
We are a positive family with a ‘can do’ attitude.
After Orlando turned one we wanted to add another child into our lives. So we started trying for a second baby. We fell pregnant within 4 months just as we had with Orlando. We were overjoyed but ever nervous, just as we were when pregnant with Orlando. Pregnancy is a hugely precarious business and we truly believe it is the miracle of life.
Sadly I ‘miscarried’ in my 2nd trimester; when I say this my waters broke prematurely and the Doctors had to remove our baby, as it would not have not survived through to a full term pregnancy. This was horrendous and affected us hugely.
We tried to conceive again and nothing was happening. I consulted my Dr who then put me in touch with a wonderful fertility specialist.
So this is our journey in our words:
We have one son, Orlando, who we adore and brings us more joy than you could ever even begin to imagine! He is 3 ½ and is as gorgeous in his manner as he is in his personality. From the day he was born he brought pure happiness and completed our family.
We are a positive family with a ‘can do’ attitude.
After Orlando turned one we wanted to add another child into our lives. So we started trying for a second baby. We fell pregnant within 4 months just as we had with Orlando. We were overjoyed but ever nervous, just as we were when pregnant with Orlando. Pregnancy is a hugely precarious business and we truly believe it is the miracle of life.
Sadly I ‘miscarried’ in my 2nd trimester; when I say this my waters broke prematurely and the Doctors had to remove our baby, as it would not have not survived through to a full term pregnancy. This was horrendous and affected us hugely.
We tried to conceive again and nothing was happening. I consulted my Dr who then put me in touch with a wonderful fertility specialist.
So this is our journey in our words:
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